39 Weeks - supposedly a week closer

39 Weeks

Oh, I'm hanging in there. Some days I do well, and other days I feel like I'm hanging by a thread. After resigning myself to the idea that Quinn won't be born for another 3 weeks, we had some more progress that got my hopes up. (Skip next sentence if you don't like details about female bodily fluids.) I passed my mucus plug - the entire thing - on Friday and Saturday. I was very encouraged because for most women, this means that active labor is imminent. I was also having very strong regular contractions. I should have known better - this is an indication for most women.  Just as nesting, nausea, diarrhea, and regular, frequent contractions are signs of labor for most women, these apparently mean nothing for me. I have been dealing with all of the signs that usually send women to the hospital or calling their midwife for 4 long weeks. So instead of the usual, "call when they are 4-5 minutes apart for an hour and last a minute or longer," which has been happening for weeks, my caregivers told me to call when they are so intense that I can't talk through them. Beginning yesterday afternoon, the contractions were very intense. By dinnertime, I was on the floor, rocking back and forth, and humming through them. Jonathan had to call the midwife because I couldn't talk. After hours of this and passing my plug, we were hopeful. The midwife came and was also pretty convinced that this was "the real thing." She checked me - no further dilation. I wasn't too disheartened because I figured I could go on like that for a day or two. I am prepared for that. What I am not prepared for is to go through intense contractions for 9+ hours for nothing. I woke up this morning - contractions were irregular and less intense. They have still been there enough today to slow me down and make me pretty miserable, but clearly not enough to get this baby out. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried in Jonathan's arms this morning in despair. How can so many women have contractions for hours and then have a baby at the end? How can some have them for weeks with nothing to show for it? I am so exhausted, so tired of feeling like I can't make plans, canceling classes and appointments, only to have it go nowhere. I am beyond frustrated and discouraged at this point - this is getting to the point of depression. It doesn't help to have friends (who I love dearly!) who have their babies after 5 hours of contractions. I know I can do this, I know it will be worth every single contraction - I know this. Just the thought of my son gives me resolve. But why does it have to be this hard? I know labor and birth are supposed to be painful, long, and hard - but why so much harder for some than others?

Husband of the year

Okay, enough with the pity party. Thank you, readers, for continuing to read despite the rant of negativity. All I have to do is pull myself out of my own fog of frustration and realize how many beautiful blessings I have. The first and foremost? Jonathan. He is a never-ending fount of compassion and support. You would think that he would get tired of having a wife in labor for 4 weeks. I challenge you to find a husband who has had a greater challenge and handled it better! You would think it started yesterday with the way he responds. He holds me, rubs my back, sings to me, gets me whatever I need, and is always loving me despite my frequent meltdowns. I know what I have, and I never cease to be amazed or grateful.

Loving my Fall baby

Blessing #2: A healthy baby! Quinn has handled the labor beautifully. He is always moving and his heartbeat is always strong and variable at our appointments. He never seems to have a problem with the contractions, which is incredibly reassuring. However, I imagine he must be getting impatient, too. He has been in the same position - head down, back to my right side, bottom in the air - for a month. His little head is always bearing down, so he is doing his job beautifully. I imagine him pushing down and saying, "I'm trying hard, momma! What's the secret password?" My response: "I wish I knew, son!"

He is continuing to grow and put on weight this week:
"Your baby's waiting to greet the world! He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath."

Blessing #3: Jonathan has been hired to teach in the Honors College next semester! It came out of nowhere - he got a call early last week with the job offer. This is a class he has been wanting to teach for years. He will be working with cream-of-the-crop instructors (who teach other sections of the same class), and cream-of-the-crop students. AND he will get paid on top of his new salary!

If he only knew that he will have his own yard to play in soon!

Blessing #4: It's fall! I absolutely love Fall! I love the colors, the smells in the air, the promise of holidays, the food (which I will be able to eat once Quinn is born!), and the weather. It has been pleasantly warm in the afternoons and surprisingly cool at night. We've been able to have the doors and windows open. J.J. and I even played outside last week. 

Blessing #5: All of my loving and encouraging family and friends! You don't realize how many people really care about you until you go through a hard time like this. I truly appreciate the sympathy and support.

38 weeks - more lessons in patience

38 Weeks!

Do I look patient?

This past week was a tough one for me emotionally, in terms of the pregnancy. I have been having regular contractions for over three weeks now, plus some other early labor symptoms like nausea, bowel issues, and difficulty sleeping. After walking to Jonathan's office for lunch on Tuesday, the contractions picked up a lot. They were intense enough to leave tears streaking down my face. It certainly was not the worst pain I've felt; it hurt, but the tears were more from being overwhelmed by the intensity than the pain. After an hour of these, I had an OB appointment. The OB took one look at me and said, "This could be it!" I told him not to say that and get my hopes up. Sure enough, he checked me, and there was no change from last week (still 80% effaced, 1cm dilated). I was SO discouraged. The intense contractions continued for another half hour before they calmed down a bit. They were still regular, but not so intense. I honestly cried. I thought, there is no way I can do this for weeks on end! Well, I CAN, but I don't want to! After some crying and cussing and an afternoon nap, I got up, played Bob Marley ("Three Little Birds") and played with J.J. I felt so much better. I even got a decent night's sleep that night. Since then, I've decided that I expect Quinn to arrive no earlier than 42 weeks - that's almost a month from now and two weeks past his due date. That way, I will only be thrilled if it happens earlier, rather than be disappointed with each day that passes without his birth. I have been told by many people and read many accounts that recommend that you ignore early labor as much as possible. I think this must be easier to do when early labor lasts a day or two, as it does for most women. It's tough when it's over three weeks. But I am doing my best now  - I'm not watching the clock, I'm not recording the contractions, and I'm taking my day one contraction at a time. Not only is this attitude better for my mood, but it also makes the contractions far more bearable. So do what you will, little boy, I'm going to try to be patient! Take your time to get fat and live it up in the comfort of your free suite while you can. Courtesy of your mom.

 Speaking of getting fat, that's about all Quinn is up to right now, aside from moving a lot and kicking plates off my belly.
 "Your baby has really plumped up. He weighs about 6.8 pounds and he's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). He has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold his hand for the first time! His organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb."

Jonathan finished his first week at his new job last week and loves it so far. I visit him every day for lunch, and some days he comes home a bit early to work from home in the afternoon. This job is turning out to be a great opportunity for all of us. And he is of course doing an amazing job, impressing his boss already with his efficiency and productivity.

Our inspections were last week and went well. We submitted our report today and will hear back from the seller within one week. Hopefully all will go well and the sale will continue as expected. I had the opportunity to be in the house again today and was reminded of how much I love it and can't wait to raise our little family in it. And just in time for the holidays!

I hope everyone is well! Let's just assume that there will be a few more pregnancy posts before we get one with a little baby boy's face on it. :)

37 weeks - a few major life changes in one week

37 weeks

Sometimes you just feel like getting some of those major life changes out of the way all at once. That is what has happened for us this past week.

Major event/change #1: Jonathan's 29th birthday! On Wednesday, we celebrated Jonathan's final birthday in his 20's. We realized that this was the 10th birthday that we have celebrated together. We went to breakfast, had lunch and dinner together, and spent the day enjoying one another's company. We also realized that this would be the last birthday that we spent sleeping in and saying, "What do you want to do today?", with no other obligations. Future birthdays will be special because we will share them with our child(ren), but the last one as a child-free couple was special, too. We were hoping Quinn would arrive as a birthday present, but he apparently wants his own birthday. :) Happy birthday, Jonathan!

Major change #2: Jonathan's new job! We wanted to keep this on the down-low until everything settled, but Jonathan has great news. He is now the Coordinator for the Campus Writing Program at the University! He applied back in May, and we had to wait all summer while they did a nationwide search to hear back. We had somewhat forgotten about it when he received a call for an interview the first week of school. We didn't know what his odds were, given that we had heard that many excellent candidates had applied, most of whom already had their PhDs. Then he found out that he was one of TWO finalists who were called in to interview! After a presentation of his own research to the Campus Writing Board and an hour-long (fantastic) interview, we both felt pretty good about it. We heard the next week - they said it was unanimous and wanted to give him the job! He started on Thursday. The position seems perfect for him. He loves his co-workers and has so many connections on campus already that will help him in the position. His job will be to essentially create and conduct workshops for faculty, aiding them in teaching writing intensive classes at the University. He will also be traveling to national conferences (expenses paid!), and meeting one-on-one with faculty to help them with their teaching concerns. He will also be able to continue working on his PhD, often getting paid to work on his own research. I could not be more proud of him, and he loves the job so far.

Major change #3: Buying a house! We have thought about buying a house for a long time, but were worried about our flexible graduate student incomes and not knowing how long we would live in town. We have been looking at homes for a few months and were pre-approved for a loan a month ago. We still hadn't decided for sure, but hoped that something in our price range that we loved would come up for sale. After a lot of looking, we found something that we both fell in love with. It is within our graduate student income budget, and we were scheduled to view it the week before last. The day before the home tour, we got the news that Jonathan got the job! This made us feel even better about buying, since we will now be in town longer and will have a higher, more steady income. We made an offer last week and signed the paperwork on Jonathan's birthday. If inspections and the appraisal go through without a hitch, the home will be ours and we will close on Halloween. I could not be more thrilled. We absolutely love the house. It is small and cozy - just what we want to continue living a more minimalist and earth-friendly lifestyle. The home is completely updated - new flooring, windows, roof, deck, garage door, paint, etc. It has a fenced backyard where J.J. can run and play, and a covered deck where we can sit outside and enjoy the weather and yard. It backs up to a private road (no traffic) and a park. The park has a playground, fishing pond, and running trail. It is in the part of town where we currently live, which we really love. Honestly, it is a dream come true. I have always wanted to live in a home where I could paint the walls any color I like, make as much noise as I like, and feel a sense of pride and ownership. We will spend our first holidays as a family in our own home. Wish us luck with the closing details!

Final news: Quinn is now full-term! We hit the 37 week mark on Friday. I am still doing the same - contractions every 5 minutes, slow and steady progress. I will find out today if any progress has been made since last week, and I sure hope so. I am still not sleeping well and starting to get pretty worn out from the contractions, lack of sleep, and other early labor symptoms. They are still saying that it could be any day from now to his due date. I am hoping for earlier rather than later! We are planning a natural home birth, so I need to try to conserve energy for the time when active labor starts. I can't wait to meet my little boy, and I'm trying to stay patient and positive - but it's tough!

Here's what Quinn is up to this week:
"Your baby is now considered "full term," even though your due date is three weeks away. If you go into labor now, his lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. (Some babies need a bit more time, though. So if you're planning to have a repeat c-section, for example, your practitioner will schedule it for no earlier than 39 weeks unless there's a medical reason to intervene earlier.)
Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long."

I LOVE peanut butter!

Meanwhile, J.J. is being sweet and Zoie is being a spoiled queen-wanna-be. Life continues as usual, despite major changes. :)

Week 36

Week 36

Big belly

Wow, major changes occurred this week. The changes I mentioned in the last post have continued and increased since last Sunday. On Tuesday, the OB said that my cervix was not yet dilated, but it was soft and thinning. On Thursday, the midwife said that it was about 50% effaced (thinned) and 1.5cm dilated. On Saturday, the midwife said that it was 80% effaced and about the same dilated. Once it is close to 100% effaced, dilation should pick up and result in active labor. It could be days or more than a week now. The contractions seem to pick up every other day, and then remain steady. Tonight they are between 4-5 minutes apart and getting much more uncomfortable - heavy abdominal cramps and back ache. I'm still not sleeping - I was up most nights this past week around 3am. I even got a craft project in my head this week and had to finish it at 3:30 in the morning. Poor Jonathan came in and asked what I was doing. Here I am, in a nightgown with paper, glue, and scissors, and eating a block of cheese (I've been starving in the middle of the night). I replied, "Crafting...and eating cheese," like it was the most normal thing in the world to be doing at 3am. I still love being pregnant, and in many ways I am grateful for the slow-building labor. On the other hand, I'm getting excited about meeting Quinn. I'm having to take it easy and rest a lot at home, because it's better if Quinn would wait to be born after Friday (he'll be full-term then). So I'm not exercising, taking lots of warm baths, and reducing my activity outside the home for the week.

Thankfully my blood sugars have been under control since I started increasing the amount of fat and protein I eat at each meal. Somehow though, I've managed to lose weight. As of Saturday, I weighed less than I did at 26 weeks, for a total gain of under 13 pounds. The midwife was a bit worried about this, so I'm on strict orders to eat a ton of high-calorie things like whole milk, cheese, nuts, and avocados. Normally this would be fun, but I've been really nauseous since the early labor started, so it's more of a chore than I would like.

Quinn is doing great, though. He's active, even during contractions. His head is down and engaged in my pelvis, which is what is helping the effacing and dilation along. He's doing a great job! Here's how he is developing this week:
"Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. He's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered his body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected his skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of his first bowel movement.
At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely he's in a head-down position."

This evening I cried with joy thinking about meeting our son. This is the happiest time of my life.